Sermon for All Saints Sunday

Revelation 7:9-17 + Matthew 5:1-12

Sitting down to write this sermon was the first time I’d spent any time at my desk since the first week of October. My monthly desk-blotter calendar was still showing “October” as I spread out my Bible and print outs. And I just couldn’t start writing. I texted Jordan, I texted Jillian, another friend who is also preaching this week called me and we talked. I even started a load of towels to strip in the bathtub. 

When I came back to my desk, I looked again at the calendar. As y’all may know, I spent a week of October, fully 7 days, in the hospital at Women’s and Children’s with Jacob who was battling RSV. He was baptized last year on All Saints Sunday, and as I’ve grown, I’ve found that our lives and experiences and feelings are cyclical. Is there a time of year that always feels heavier to you? Is there a season that brings up twinges or tickling in your chest, a joy or sentimental nostalgia? Sometimes I’ll even find on specific days that my body feels more achy or I have a headache that I can’t shake, and then I’ll realize that on that day 10 years ago my grandpa died or I graduated from college, or some other big event, happy or sad, took place and I hadn’t really recalled it, but some part of my body, my being, knew it was happening, and was even remembering the impact of that event on my life while my brain forgot it. 

I love that God made our selves so complex and so memorable that pieces of us will be sensitive to God’s movement even when our minds are oblivious. 

And so as I sat down to write this sermon, I realized, staring at that calendar, that my body and spirit needed a little acknowledgement of what had transpired in our family in the last month. So I got a pen, and I drew an arrow through the seven days that Jacob and I spent in a tiny room, hooked up to oxygen. I wrote, “Hospital” “Jacob in the Hospital” under the arrow, and then I just looked at the paper. I took a few deep breaths, I told myself “that was a big chunk of the month.” “That really broke up October.” “You didn’t think that would happen again this year.” 

And after a few more breaths – I love to think of breathing as a way to acknowledge the Holy Spirit, in both Hebrew and Greek the original languages of the Bible, the words used to name the Holy Spirit “ru’ah” and “pneuma” are words for breath, for breathing. After a few breaths, I rolled my shoulders, tore off the “October” page, and set down to read and write again. I felt better. It’s a way I was able to feel the bigness of what October had meant for our family, a way to give space for and honor the grief and fear and powerlessness and restlessness of that month. And then, a way to let it go. 

Y’all will know from your own experiences and your own lives, it’s not over, the feelings and grief of our hospital stay and of our child’s illness will come up again in some other way, spurred by something else, and it’ll be my work then to listen again, slow down and welcome the stirrings that pull at me. 

I tell you all this because we find echoes in today’s Scriptures, too, and we will each hear ripples that might slosh at us sideways in the liturgy today, maybe in the names prayed for and listed in our bulletins, maybe in the memories of baptisms-past, maybe in the way the light angles through the windows at this time of year. And I pray, my precious brothers and sisters, that when these stirrings pop up, whether they bring waves of joy or grief or headache or achiness or ease, that just as you welcome visitors into your home, you will welcome these movements of the Holy Spirit, that you will ask them to sit down and stay awhile, that you’ll have the courage to sit and listen and learn from these visitors that the Holy Spirit has sent to you. With that in mind, let’s turn to the readings for today.

“After this I, John, looked, and there was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, robed in white, with palm branches in their hands. They cried out in a loud voice, saying,

“Salvation belongs to our God who is seated on the throne, and to the Lamb!” And all the angels stood around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God.” 

I hear an echo from Babel here. Do you remember that story? Way back in Genesis, before Abraham, before Moses and all the prophets, God saw that people were putting themselves up as idols, as the center of the universe, and he made different languages and scattered the people to protect them from themselves. Of course a consequence of that has been our division and strife against each other tribe since. But here in Revelation, at the end of time, we read that it won’t be that way anymore. That people from every nation all tribes and peoples and languages will be gathered and oriented toward the real king, the true center of the universe, of all creation, which is God, and the Lamb, Jesus. This echo of grief, of division that’s written in our bones as humans, that longs for connection instead of misunderstanding and isolation, will be put right, will be overcome, only by God and through his grace. 

Later in that same passage, somebody tells John, the writer who is relaying this vision: 

“For this reason they are before the throne of God,

and worship him day and night within his temple,

and the one who is seated on the throne will shelter them.

They will hunger no more, and thirst no more;

the sun will not strike them,

nor any scorching heat;

for the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd,

and he will guide them to springs of the water of life,

and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”

Do you recognize that? Did those words stir in you? We hear here prophecies from Isaiah and from the Psalms. You may remember from Isaiah 4 the lines about being sheltered by the one on the throne; you may recall from Psalms 49 and 121 the promises that no one will hunger or thirst anymore; you may hear the echo from Isaiah 25 the vow that God will wipe away every tear from every eye. I wonder if you’ve had moments, or glimmers of these truths in your own life, a sort of little promise or little fulfillment of God’s goodness and grace as we still await God’s big overhaul of evil’s eradication from existence. 

Leaving the hospital surely felt like a little fulfillment, lying in my bed that night with all my boys under the same roof surely felt like a small grace and a moment to cherish and note and welcome into my house and listen to. *take a breath* Do you have those, too?

Then as we move to the Gospel lesson for today, those ladies in the Luke Bible study will have heard big echoes everywhere in these 12 verses. These passages are shared almost verbatim in Luke as here in Matthew, with a few notable adjustments. Y’all don’t have to be part of the Bible study for them to be familiar words, and maybe you remember another sermon you’ve heard on these words. Maybe you recall your momma quoting them as she instructed your behavior as a child. Maybe you feel unsettled, wondering what persecution for righteousness’ sake might require of you. 

God, in inspiring the composition of Scripture, intends for these echoes to poke at us, to reveal himself to us ever more deeply, to resonate on both deep intellectual levels and on levels in us that are too deep and hidden for words at all. Do you know that verse from Romans, about prayer and the Holy Spirit? “Likewise, the Spirit, helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words.” 

When our sighings are too deep for words, when our grief or echoes of love are too strong for us to stay standing, when our joy is too mighty to keep from splitting into a smile, may God the Holy Spirit help us in our weakness, in our fear or freeze in the face of such power so near us. May God the Holy Spirit intercede for us, drawing us along with him in prayer as we offer these echoes of holy stirrings back to God himself. May God give us courage to sit still with the memories that he offers us, may God be present with us – just as he promises he always will be through the cross – as we seek to learn what it is that God reveals to us about himself in our hearts, in our families, in our communities, and in our world. Amen.

What I Really, Really Want

We’re in a cultural moment of permission. And it’s awful.

This morning I woke up feeling better. A few days ago my toddler started spouting snot and coughing like a smoker. Yesterday I followed suit, with a headache, body aches, and nausea to boot (all of which the toddler might have, too, but course he can’t tell me). Conveniently, I’d gotten sick on a Saturday and my husband took over administrating our life with minimal fuss.

By yesterday evening, I was moaning to friends that my hope was gone and would my life feel like this forever?

But today hope dawned anew. I feel better. Not 100%, but I feel certain I will survive this cold. The toddler and I were already planning to stay home from church, even before I fell ill. But you know what immediately popped into my mind when I took in the facts that I could again stand steadily and that I would be home with just one child underfoot for 5 hours?

“I could get so much cleaning done.”

Cleaning is how I often work off nervous energy, it’s how I grasp a surface-level peace, it’s how I feel accomplished without actually doing any demanding intellectual or emotional work. Also, after a Saturday with the family at home, at the end of the first week of school, there’s a lot of… disorder… to restore.

What I really, really wanted was a clean house, and I had the energy (maybe, just enough) to spend so I could get it. I can get exactly what I want. Why should I hesitate? The desire in my heart and body, the thing that will make me feel happy today, something that will help my other family members feel happy too, something that won’t hurt anybody, and indeed, is practically virtuous, couldn’t possibly be wrong. Could it?

I wonder if you can see a bit of what’s wrong with this situation. I’m hardly off my sickbed, but I’m wanting to use my first blush of health to scrub floors and pick up toys and take out the trash. Is that really the best use of my energy, of my time? Even though it’s what I desire, what I really, really want, is it good for me?

It’s not. And not just because it’s Sunday (though, it being Sunday, the Lord’s day, is a big part, even the root! of it), but because what I want at any given moment is not a good measure of whether I ought to pursue something.

I’m seeing more and more people, even friends, using “what I want” and “what makes me happy” and “how I feel fulfilled” to be the measure against which an action is judged — things much bigger than cleaning on a Sunday morning — and I am worried about where these big decisions based on something so fleeting and fickle as “my happiness” and “what I want” will lead both individuals in their lives and our entire society.

For my part, the root is that Sunday is the Lord’s day, which means that it’s a one-in-seven-days reminder that I am not in control, that I am not the be-all-and-end-all of my own life. It’s not that I can’t flick a light switch on The Lord’s Day, or have some fear of retribution, but just like we know that working out is good to make our muscles strong, and persevering in a challenging article or conversation makes our minds strong, practicing an awareness of my own limitations (in the face of God’s no-limitations) helps keep my desires in check.

I rest on Sunday, I resist my desire to clean to be reminded that I can’t do it all, I can’t even clean up my own life on my own. I need God’s support, God’s guidance, God’s mercy, God’s love to even exist. Much more than a clean house, I need a clean heart, and that’s not work I can do on my own, either. The mess of toys and clothes and books and even dust and crumbs, can wait for tomorrow, and can remind me that I have to trust God to do the most important cleaning in my life — the cleaning that gives me the deepest peace and accomplishes the most important intellectual, emotional, and spiritual work.

Running Water

ERH Sermon Photo Lent 5A sermon for the fifth Sunday in Lent. Isaiah 43:16-21

When I get thirsty, I walk over to the cabinet and grab a glass from my line of clean dishes, I meander to the closest of several sinks in my house or in the office, I flick the knob with my wrist, and “ahh,” my thirst is quenched.

Even a hundred years ago, on my great-grandmother’s farmstead in Minnesota, the very most she’d need to do — even in April — was pull on boots and coat, grab a bucket, and trudge across the yard to the water pump, work the handle a few times with vigor, and then enjoy fresh water from the depths of the earth.

The ingenuity of our forebears, the clever and brilliant inventors of our past, have brought unimaginable convenience and immediacy to our lives. Even in our dry season, hoses still spout water for home gardeners, we don’t get concerned that our rivers might leave us without a way to feed our plants, let alone to quench our own thirst. And so, this word from Isaiah, beautiful and evocative though it may be, suffers the risk of remaining in our ears and in our minds, not moving all the way into our hearts and our bodies, because with roads spanning our massive country — even our ponderous state — there’s no real need for a “way in the wilderness,” or for “rivers in the desert.” Except for fleeting, dramatic circumstances (perhaps!), most of us has never needed “water in the wilderness,” or been dependent on some divine being to be given drink to quench our thirst. Continue reading

What does pro-life look like?

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Churches, let alone businesses, that actually support families are so, so rare. No wonder birth rates are dropping in the US, and no wonder women feel they have no alternatives. When taking a shower or keeping a child alive seems like a mutually-exclusive decision, those of us with babies truly look insane. I wonder if it’s not our own insanity so much as it is the insanity and disregard that our society hath wrought. It took this situation in my own life today to open my eyes to the struggle of (most often) mommas and families in our society (in a very, very small way):

Husband has been gone for the better part of two weeks, toddler is not real happy about that reality (let alone Momma), and six-months’-gestated baby brother couldn’t care less about the whole thing, he just wants to dance, and pump nauseating hormones around his momma’s veins all day and all night. 

Said Momma has developed tension headaches from storing the stress of these weeks in her shoulders and neck. Our bodies hold on to stress and to emotion in all kinds of ways, and recognizing how it happens to you can be a key to “surviving well” (a phrase I trademarked with my therapist yesterday, because that is exactly what being a working mom with a toddler and gestating child is about).

Rather than suffering in headaches for the rest of the month during Husband’s absence, she took action: called up to get a massage post-haste. The only available slot was 7:15pm the next day — cue texting possible sitters. Telling the masseuse that I’d have to find a sitter before I could commit to the slot — tire screech — she said, “Bring him along if you want, I can set up the room with toys to keep him busy.” 

This business will not only work out my tight tight tight muscles, but will let me *bring my child with me* while she does so.

My child exists (!) and (currently, as a two-year-old) needs constant supervision; this doesn’t mean that I must hide him away or pay someone to entertain him if I want to care for this swollen, achey body. My child’s care and my own health are not mutually exclusive. Reader, this was a revelation.

Caring for my family and caring for my body are not necessarily at odds. 

All it requires — which, granted, is totally counter-cultural and requires a sea-change for society — is thinking of, considering, and committing to not just a Momma paying someone to work out tense shoulders, but committing to her whole family, in a way, committing to the health, safety, and thriving of the whole community, of which the business, the Momma, the traveling Husband, the clingy toddler, and even the gestating son, are all constituent parts.

Off to consider how to make my own spheres of influence, my church and my hoped-for yoga classes, to be truly welcoming to families, especially to little children (and their hard-working caregivers).  Any ideas? Share below.

Mother Emily

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As I head down the straightaway of my last trimester, those around me expect that anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed by motherhood will set in. I don’t just mean people around me, but every mommy blog, book, and spammy email mentions this anxiety that must just be eating me up.

I don’t feel it. Continue reading