Being Present – On Which to Chew

“The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them for eternity.  He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present.  For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity.”

– The Screwtape Letters

Screwtape goes on to talk about the various pros and cons of trapping a given “patient” in either the Past, or the Future; the Past, while distracting, is of limited use, he says, because there isn’t much unknown–it’s been experienced, it can draw one off a good path, but it doesn’t take them much of anywhere else.  The Future, however, is very fruitful for despair’s handmaids, as tempters may suggest all sorts of fearful, disastrous, unknown, untested events, possibilities, and thoughts, all of which come at an alarming speed, producing a scurrying mind with little connection to reality.

Mindfulness, a practice I suspect our dear mystical brothers and sisters knew well, is fantastically useful in combating the mind’s susceptibility to darting around anywhere except This Moment.  Reality, which can sometimes burn us with its brightness, might make us want to run behind the dark shadow of the Past, or to find tasty unreality in the Future, but it is only in living in the bright reality of the present moment that its healing heat can transform us (in this Church season of Epiphany, the bright truth of God’s love shines hot on humanity through the person of Jesus Christ).

More by me on The Screwtape Letters: here & here.

pouring yourself out

This morning, we threw away a carton full of raspberries.  They were big and juicy and red and just the right amount of tart (a week ago).  I was saving them for something special.  I never did discover what the special thing was, and while I was working hard to save them–seeing them taunting me on the refrigerator shelf every morning–they grew moldy.  All my difficult work, saving them up for something special instead of enjoying them NOW, ended up to be for naught.  My effort to enjoy them later ended up meaning that I never got to enjoy them–though I’m sure the mold spores enjoyed the berries very much.

Reflecting on moments and phases of life when I’ve been more generous with my time and energy, I know that those are the times I’ve been most happy.  Then, more often than my generous moments, I get grabby with my time.  I want to protect my moments and hours, to save them up for something.  But why am I saving this precious time?  Where is it all going?  It goes into watching netflix and lolling around the house, into using up the energy on my wandering, worrying mind–which is not fun at all.

It’s like on high school track team, when our coach, Mr. Barney, told us to leave it all on the track at the end of a race.  Why else had we trained our muscles for weeks and eaten carefully for days and stored up our energy that morning?  I remember always being afraid that I would leave too much on the track–that my strength would give out before the end and I would just fall over, or that I’d just stop, or… whatever it is that happens when you really get to the end of your physical rope (can you tell I never really quite got there?).  Because of course a 16-year-old who’s in decent shape should be worried about falling over after running half a mile (see “worrying mind” above).

Let’s worry less and leave more of ourselves in the moments of our lives.