Thin Spots

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A number of months ago, a seminarian here at CSMSG preached about “thin spots,” moments and events when the distance or space between us and God or us and heaven seems to be inconsequential–the space seems “thin.”

I think of the way that light peeks through well-worn fabric; the way that the “fabric” of our lives can get to be gauze-like in places, and that wearing away reveals the light–the glory, the God-ness–behind/underneath it.  The more I focus on these spots, the more I see them.  I don’t think they’re increasing in frequency by any means–I’m not becoming holier by the minute, let’s be real!–but I do think that in training myself to see them, I’m getting better at seeing more of them.

2012-06-01 10.39.29Another contributing factor: really, truly working to see trials as opportunities to grow.  I’m borrowing another blogger’s great, great wisdom here.  When we help to create thin spots*, we’re more attuned to God’s work in our own lives, and we’re more willing to receive/notice the gift of those moments that remind us of God’s presence and of the joy of life itself.

*choosing to think of trials as opportunities to grow–loving others well with no attention or regard for their behavior toward us.  This is helping others, especially in physical ways–bringing dinner to a person’s home, inviting someone to coffee, visiting with someone in the check out/coffeeshop/DMV line; this is going ahead and being honest (lovingly!) with others, especially in positive ways–sending that note to the acquaintance who just gave birth and you want to congratulate, telling your spouse out loud that you’re so grateful for him/her, calling that dear old friend you haven’t spoken with in a year (not letting the shame of how long it’s been/how strange you think it might sound/how stalkerish it might seem get in the way of expressing gratitude!); this is washing your mind out when storm clouds gather and when the person in line/in the car in front of you/in the upstairs apartment happens to be very, very rude.  I have to constantly remind myself that there’s surely something that is bothering her/him, and it’s not really about me, but about trying to work through the anger and hurt, and I happen to be caught in the crossfire (this is one of my biggest challenges).

In my own life, paying more attention to thin spots recently, I’ve found they most often happen when I’m with other people–not alone–and when I’m praying.  Now, I must have the courage to be with people and to pray all the more!

 

A Funeral Sermon on Beauty

Mary loved to spend time gardening, I’m told.  Reflecting on what I’ve learned of her life from her family and friends, I’m struck by her commitment to the beautiful things of this world.  Can you think of anything more beautiful than flowers and trees in bloom?  As a pediatric nurse, a mother, and a grandmother, she loved children—can you think of anything that brings more joy and beauty than a baby?  She served as a docent at the Art Museum and helped with the Children’s Bazaar—what is more beautiful than the excellent art of old masters and the works of young creative minds?

In the lives of the people Mary touched, we continue to see hints of her.  She has grandchildren who may remind you of her own character; her friends and loved ones are changed for having been near her.  These characteristics we see in each other that remind us of Mary are a reflection of her beautiful spirit, a sort of family resemblance that permeates those whom Mary loved.

This sort of family resemblance, which means more to us than having similar noses or sharing the same, very-tall physique, might be thought of as a little glimpse that we can see of Mary even after she is gone.  It is far from being the same thing as having her in the room with us again, but it is a taste, or a hint, or a reminder of what we used to experience with her.  The ways that her beautiful spirit rubbed off on others is a testament to her love.  And isn’t love the most beautiful thing of all?

We mourn today that we do not share company with her the way we used to, but just as we remember our time with her,  the scraps of beauty shared with Mary aren’t just tokens of a time gone by; the beauty she shared with us is a promise of much greater beauty to come.  Her garden creations only scratch the surface of the beauty that awaited her and that still awaits us.  The joy she knew and shared with children is a hint of the joy that was in store for her, and is still in store for us.  In the story of Mary’s life—her love of sharing good and beautiful things, and her mission to make others’ lives beautiful—we see reflections and hints of another beautiful story, which is the account of the whole world.

God entered into the world story in the form of a little baby named Jesus, who brought both bewilderment and joy to his parents and family.  As a child he delighted others with his curiosity, as the story of Jesus in the temple tells us.  Then, he grew up into a person who loved spending time in nature, especially in gardens;  and he often went off alone to gardens to pray, because it was there that God had first met humanity.  Further, Jesus loved to spend time with people around the dinner table, enjoying the good things in life done well.  He threw parties himself and he was a great guest at events, keeping the festivities rolling by making more wine in one case, and healing people that they might stand and dance in another.  Perhaps more than parties, this God-man loved to heal people, whether that meant curing their physical pain, or sitting with them while they cried through their loss, as a nurse might.  This beauty-loving God has made our lives beautiful and his time on earth showed us that the greatest beautiful things are yet to come.

In closing, I want to return to the image of a baby—the Gospel lesson we just heard tells us that the Father and the Son both have life in them, and that they offer that eternal life to us.  How is it that nature has set up for a baby to be created, but by the love shared between two people?  Love creates life.  Lovingly tending a garden allows the plants to flourish; holding a newborn close to your chest allows the little one to feel your body heat, and to thrive; gently studying a subject with love enables an artist to capture the essence of the scene she’s experiencing.  We know from our loving relationships, our families, our friends, that love is more than just an evolutionary advantage we all share; it both enables and demands that we do irrational and extraordinary things.  God did something irrational and extraordinary in coming to live among us as Jesus Christ.  God in Christ is the root of love that allows us each to grow into strong plants and trees of the true, the good, and the beautiful.

Amen.

Children & the Kingdom of Heaven

“But Jesus said, ‘Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.'” (Matthew 19:14, KJV)

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Last Wednesday in Chapel, I read this story out of the Jesus Storybook Bible (JSB) to the 1st-4th graders who gathered (the 5th and 6th graders were out that day, providing an opportunity for time with the little ones who, being suddenly foisted into leadership in the chapel, were blessedly deer-in-headlights quiet).  In the JSB, this story ties together the disciples arguing about who was greatest/most-beloved-of-Jesus among them, and the little children approaching Jesus (this is one of the many reasons i love the JSB–they’ve always thought of connections that I haven’t made).  The disciples are acting the way that one expects children to behave, “I’m best!” “No, I’m more clever!”  “Clearly, it’s ME who’s most important!”  While this niggling is going on in the background, Jesus is left un-guarded, and children start wandering up to him–drawn by his approachability, his gentleness, and his love.  They run into his arms, and he laughs with them (according to the JSB–a colorful, though fair!, description), they talk about what’s going on in their little lives, and sit on Jesus’ lap.  Finally, the disciples realize what’s been going on, and they rush over to shoo away the children who are disturbing the Important Work of Jesus.

Of course, Jesus then sets the disciples straight, showing them–and us!–how much we have to learn from children, from the way that little ones know that there’s more to the world than what we see–the world is magical–that Jesus is the Most Worthy of our love and trust.

At the close of the story, I told the children about the leadership they’d be expected to take in showing the 5th and 6th graders the new habit we were going to start in chapel on Wednesdays (the day I lead).  All year, we’ve been taking prayer requests by voice, imagining that we’re placing those people in our two up-turned hands and then lifting them up to God.  Last Wednesday, we took it a step further.  I encouraged the children to take a slip of paper, to write on it any request they had–people they wanted to remember, or situations that they might want to bring to Jesus–and by rows, I released them to leave the paper on the altar at the front of the chapel.  They brought their hearts up to Jesus and laid their worries down on the altar in front of Him.

Signs – Sermon by the Rev. Jordan Hylden – Second Sunday After Epiphany – the Church of St. Michael & St. George

Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.  

Growing up, one of my favorite pastimes was reading mystery stories.  I too seldom allow myself the time to read a good mystery anymore, but I remember the distinct pleasures of a good Sherlock Holmes or Agatha Christie story well—it’s all about noticing the clues, of course, and a good writer will always have scattered red herrings in along with them.  As you read, you ask yourself things like: why didn’t the butler deliver the letter to the lady of the house?  Did he do it on purpose, or did he just forget?  Why didn’t the dog bark in the nighttime?  And so on, and so forth.  The story’s entire world hums with possible significances and hidden meanings, there to show you whodunit if only you had the eyes to see.  You sift for clues and try out different stories in your mind—was it the Colonel in the library with the knife?  The butler in the pantry with the rope?  You do all of this knowing full well that at the end, if the author has done her job well, you will inevitably be shown up by the story’s detective hero—Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot will have noticed clues that were right there in front of your nose, and tied them together with things that never occurred to you but of course make perfect sense, and all of a sudden you’ll smack your forehead and say—of course it was the butler all along!  Of course he was in cahoots with the scullery maid!  Why didn’t I see that the whole time?

I wonder sometimes if the appeal of detective stories has a lot to do with our desire to live in the kind of world they portray—a meaningful and mysterious world, full of clues and hints to something that lies hidden in plain sight, with some kind of story that makes sense of it all.  Not to mention, a detective who makes sure that the culprit is caught and justice is done.  I wonder if mysteries appeal to people in large part because they have a hard time seeing the real world of their everyday lives as that kind of place.  The theologian Robert Jenson points out that for the past two thousand years of Western history, people by and large saw their lives as dramatic narratives, as stories that went somewhere that matters—take for instance anything by Jane Austen or Shakespeare.  Someone like Lady Macbeth is destroyed by her own misdeeds; someone like Miss Emma Woodhouse grows and changes from a rather spoiled and insufferable girl into a mature and considerate young woman.  Behind each story arc is the much longer story arc of the world they live in—one that, as Martin Luther King famously said, may be long indeed but bends toward justice.  Shakespeare and Austen told the sort of stories they did because they assumed that the world itself was a great story, written by a single Author who is also our Judge and our Redeemer.  Back behind Shakespeare and Austen lay Milton’s Paradise Lost and Paradise Regained, and Dante’s Divine Comedy, and back behind them lay the Bible, the world’s great story of creation, fall, and redemption.  In Dante’s day, people thought that the world bears traces of its author’s design, clues to where the story is going, for those with eyes to see.  Perhaps you have come across, in an old church or a medieval piece of Christian art, a stylized mother pelican feeding her young, and wondered what it was doing there.  It was thought, though it is not actually true, that in times of dire need mother pelicans will feed their young with their own lifeblood by striking at their breast, so giving their lives for their children.  It is easy enough to see why this was taken up as a symbol for the work of Christ, who gave his life for us.  But we would misunderstand them if we thought they merely found it to be a convenient symbol to illustrate their beliefs.  It went deeper than that—they thought that they saw in the pelican a trace of the Author’s hand, a clue hidden in plain sight that told of the true story of the world.  Of course there were red herrings scattered about, that might lead one to believe that suffering, sin and death would have the last word, that life was a tale told by an idiot, signifying nothing.  But here was a real sign, and they knew it because the Author of the world had entered into the story itself to shine a light on all of our darknesses and confusions, and had shown us that at story’s end, justice will be done and the lost will be saved.  For them, the world itself was a kind of mystery, because within it and behind it and beyond it lay the mystery of Christ.

Perhaps you are thinking: this is all very interesting as a matter of art and literary history, but we don’t believe that kind of thing nowadays—pelicans aren’t images of Christ, they’re just funny-looking birds that evolved a certain way for no reason more than it helped the pelicans to make more pelicans.  Maybe so.  I do not think the pelicans are a ditch that the Christian faith has to die on, let alone the second chapter of John’s gospel.  But John does have something to tell us about what it means to have eyes to see, and what God has done to change our way of seeing.  As John tells it, Jesus goes about Israel performing signs—the wedding at Cana was the first of seven—and these signs were meant to reveal his glory.  In the chapter following ours, the Pharisee Nicodemus, who had heard of these things, said to Jesus: “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God.”  Jesus answered him, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.”

Seeing the kingdom of God is no simple thing, and the modern mindset doesn’t make it any easier.  It may well be true, of course, that modern people are right to say that the pelican is just a funny-looking bird, and not a sign of Christ.  But it may also be true that medieval people gained much more than they lost in seeing the pelican as they did, because the story of the world really is written by a divine Author who entered into its drama as one of us, in order to turn the story arc of the world away from tragedy and back into deep comedy, the divine comedy he had planned to write all along.  It may well be that their eyes were better at seeing signs of this story than ours.

There are things beside the modern mindset that make it difficult to see the kingdom of God, of course.  Perhaps you find yourself at Cana today.  Perhaps the wine of joy in your life has run dry, in your marriage, in your health, in your family or friends.  Perhaps you fear that the banquet is at its end, that the guests will one by one make their excuses and get up to leave.  Perhaps they already have.  Or it could be that you are like the Israelites in Isaiah’s day, and you are tempted to look around and call your land desolate, your home forsaken.  Perhaps it is hard to see things any other way.  That’s where all the signs seem to point.  That’s where the story seems to be going.

That’s why God gave us a sign, in Christ, of the world’s true story.  In this world it can sometimes be very hard to see past the signs of desolation and loneliness and decay.  So into this world God came, to show us we are not forsaken but married, loved by God as a bridegroom rejoices and delights in his bride.  Into this world God came to show us that the wine of joy will never run out, that the well of the water of life will never run dry.  For those with eyes to see it, he is still here—he is alive in the church, and he invites us each day to come to the table he has set for us, to eat this bread and drink this cup, of forgiveness and new and unending life in him.  He has given us these signs.  The last word of the last sentence of the story of the world, and of our lives, will be written by him.  Amen.

Bible Study Notes – Isaiah 43

Unable to withstand more judgment yesterday’s cold January evening, the intrepid Monday Night Women’s Bible Study broke rank and jumped to Isaiah 43, just for the evening.  So, now–more reflections on the same chapter as the last (entry), with much more brainpower behind it!

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you” (Is. 43:1)

“Do not fear, for I am with you” (Is. 43:5)

What does it mean to “fear” God?  Isn’t this discordant with God being all love and all goodness?  What do we have to fear in him?

If we’re–with God’s help!–seeking the good and have experienced just a taste of the goodness and perfection of God, then we’re growing in virtue, and, knowing what it is like to be in the presence of real good-ness, we really are (or would be) afraid to behave in a way that takes us away or separates us from the good, and true, and beautiful in life.  Our fear is of being separated from God–we are not afraid of anything else that might come upon us, because if God is with us in whatever trial or event or danger we experience, we have nothing to fear.  God is with us.  This promise he makes in verse 5 is described in v.2–see post below–and this God who promises to be with us no matter what we face is someone you really want on your side (see vs. 11-13).

This talk of “fear” led us to reflect on the difference between fear and anxiety: fear is born of an experience–if we’ve touched a hot stove burner, we are afraid when we are pushed from behind toward a stove that’s on.  Anxiety is from anticipating–dreading!–something that we have never experienced; it’s worry.  We’ll always have fear, it’s just a matter of what we choose and habituate ourselves to be afraid of; anxiety is not something we have to have.

God’s promise to be with us is elucidating in another way; one of our number shared how different she felt when she broke up with her college boyfriend of two years compared to when her father ended up in the hospital for a heart attack–in the case of her father’s illness, the extended family showed up quickly and en force, her immediate family was not alone, and though it was a scary time, they were all together in it, and it was beautiful, she said, because of the love that she felt.  On the other hand, when she and her boyfriend broke up, the despair was engulfing–exactly because she was alone, and the cause of the pain was a declaration of alone-ness.

The discussion of fear and of being alone reminded me of Daniel and his friends in the fiery furnace.  They tell the king, “[W]e have no need to present a defense to you in this matter.  If our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire and out of your hand, O king, let him deliver us.  But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods and we will not worship the golden statue that you have set up.” (Daniel 3:16-18).  God is God, and he can save us–but even if he doesn’t, he’s still God.  Actually, here’s a sermon that says all of that much more articulately and beautifully. (The Rev. Dr. Sam Wells)