what I learned from totaling my car

IMG_0572About a year ago, I had my first accident, and though everyone walked away from the crash, it was a pretty dramatic incident.  Both cars were totaled and we completely blocked the road in the aftermath.  In the more long-term aftermath of the event, though, I learned to really important things, which it does me good to remember Continue reading

the enemy is not netflix. the enemy is depression.


“The idea that every day is another opportunity to battle the constant barrage of thoughts that inform me of my every weakness both perceived and real, is often too overwhelming to contemplate and the TV – that always friendly source of absolutely brain free entertainment is an increasingly constant friend.” (cue emphatic “uh huh”-ing and encouraging-foot-stomping) – Katharine Welby

For me, tv is often a way to block out those damning voices Katharine talks about, and sometimes I think of it as a way to escape the unrelenting frustration that pops up like those rodents in Whack-A-Mole–I can just ignore them for awhile, let them all pop up unchecked, maybe they’ll even knock each other out with their incessant bubbling about. Continue reading

It’s All Grace

A few weeks ago–when the Southeast was pounded with much more snow than it could imagine withstanding–I took 4 different planes to end up in Atlanta, Dallas, and Durham.

The very last of the four flights was the only one with any delay at all, and it had to do with a mechanical problem, not the weather.

Even so, I spent hours upon hours wringing my hands in squeaky airport chairs, checking and re-checking my smartphone’s travel app, calling and texting friends and family–“what does the weather look like there?”  “what do you think the chances are?”

Of all the weather patterns that fell into place, granting me safe travel across the country twice, all the cancelled flights which didn’t affect my plans, and all the usually-expected air travel trip-ups that never happened, I lost sight of the great grace I was given because I was stuck in a cloud of worry and what-ifs.

On that one flight with the mechanical problem, it turned out that we needed to change planes; as we boarded our second craft, a middle-aged male in first class, conspicuously wearing a prayer-bead bracelet, complained to anyone who would listen about the inconvenient timing and general incompetence of the gate personnel.

I quickly realized the analogy–here I was, worrying and working myself up over all the travel problems that never materialized, spending my time focusing on what might possibly go wrong instead of noticing and being grateful for all the ways that the trip’s details fell into place.  I was complaining, inwardly, over something that was really not that inconvenient at all.

Though there was one hiccup in the trip, by the time I’d reached my fourth flight in 72 hours, I had enough possession of myself to smile (you know, in the tough things).  All our experiences offer us an opportunity to notice the things that go right or the things that go wrong–whatever we choose to focus on are the parts of the experience which are magnified; we have the choice to notice the grace and blessings that surround us, or to notice and magnify the negative in our lives.

What do you choose to see?