Let Me See Again

preached at St Francis Episcopal Church, Houston, Texas, 27 October 2024

Jeremiah 31:7-9
Psalm 126
Hebrews 7:23-28
Mark 10:46-52

If God asked you, “what do you want me to do for you?” what would you say? 

I’m struck by what seems to be the immediacy of the blind man’s response – “let me see again.” he says. No waffling around, no mumbling or equivocating, not even an “if you please,” or a “could you possibly.” This man knows exactly what he wants and he isn’t afraid to ask for it. 

Indeed, we see earlier in the passage that when he hears Jesus of Nazareth is walking by, he starts shouting – he’s asking boldly, he’s got no pride, he’s not ashamed of putting himself out there or even begging. When people say, “hey, have some dignity, man,” he just shouts all the louder! 

I wonder what I’d shout about. I don’t have a major disability, I have a home and family and work. Maybe I don’t really need anything from God. I don’t want to burden him, and I’m doing okay on my own. I don’t need to use up his resources, his prayer-bandwidth or whatever. 

But don’t we all need God? For some of us, our physical maladies grate at us like an ill-fitting shoe, or maybe they feel like a millstone around our necks that we carry everywhere. For others of us, our family situation or close relationships strain at us every moment of the day, sapping our energy, feeling like we are walking through a swamp with every step. For still others, we have plenty of energy but our professional lives or other circumstances stoke a fire of frustration that causes us to kick against those goads and spend our energy fighting the thing that exists to keep us in line. 

Is there something in your life that is taking up all your headspace? What is the thing you think about the most? What would it look like to be relieved of that? 

I am struck that what the blind man asks for is something we could all ask for, really: let me see again. What might be blocking your vision? What thing will we not look at that’s actually making us sick? 

This reminds me of another healing story, one from the Old Testament. Way back in Exodus, the people of Israel are wandering around in the desert, and they end up – you guessed it– grumbling, and they are bit by a bunch of snakes for their sins. So now they’re all hobbling around camp, dying of snake bites, and they’re repentant and beg Moses for an antidote to the bites. God tells Moses to put a bronze snake up on a pole in the middle of the camp and that the people need to look at that snake, and then they’ll live. Let me see again. What might we be healed of if we could only see it? What are we suffering under right now that we can’t even see? Or what are we suffering under that we maybe don’t want to see? Is there something we’re refusing to look at, a possibility we don’t want to consider? And here’s the scary thing, friends, what if looking at it, the thing that is killing us, is the way to be healed of it? 

What a bold thing to ask: “let me see again.” Would you dare to pray it? Do you dare to see, again? To see the things you’re missing, or the things you’ve pushed away? Gosh that doesn’t sound good to me. I’m almost preferring blindness now. Do I want to walk through what might be required of me if I can see? 

This past week, I taught the Parable of the Prodigal Son to my 6th graders, and I have to tell you, the 11 year olds really identified with the older son. They resonated deeply with the dutiful one who didn’t get enough accolades. We talked, too, about the way the parable taught us about family, and I tried to lead them to imagine what varying consequences emotional versus physical distance might have in a family – if the younger son went off physically and was blind while he spent all the money, but then his eyes were opened and he came back physically and also had emotional closeness with his father. But what about the older son, I asked them. He had the physical proximity, but did he seem emotionally close? Did it seem he and his father loved one another well? Was the older son blind? Did he want to see? 

The psalm tells us, “When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, then were we like those who dream,” and the psalmist begs, “Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like the watercourses of the Negev.” As the younger son had his fortunes restored to him when he regained his sight, Scripture promises that we will, too. 

The sticking point is, of course, that the younger son was literally sitting in a pig sty when his eyes were opened. The bump in the straight path to healing is that the Israelites had to look an image of their would-be-assassin in the eye. One might even say that the older son had to swallow his pride and stop keeping score to gain his family back. “Let me see again.” 

But here’s the good news, brothers and sisters. Whatever the pain and difficulty, whatever the destruction or weight you carry, the psalm also tells us that “those who sowed with tears will reap with songs of joy,” and “those who go out weeping, carrying the seed, will come again with joy, shouldering their sheaves.” 

Just like the cross, our pain is not, is never, the end of the story. When we can see again, we can face the truth of our situations, and find that God is in the middle of it already. God has already been calling to us, God has already asked, “What do you want me to do for you?” And we might even be inspired, then, to follow him on the way. 

crying with the psalmist

IMG_1964“How long, O Lord, how long?”

I wonder how long it is that my mind will be in this space, that my refrain will be from the second part of the third verse of psalm 6, “low long, O Lord, how long?”  It feels like every day is the last one I can stand.  Sometimes, I ask my husband to drive me home or I sit and stare at the wall, paralyzed.  Psalm 6 gives voice to my frustration.  I roll my eyes and pound at my pillow, I complain and cry about this disease that leaves me dumb, disorganized, addled.  But I’m asking the wrong question. Continue reading

God the Good Gardener

“Every branch that bears fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.”

Look at the stained glass windows around you this morning.  They’ve been given at various times for various members of the community, and as any chorister will tell you, they’re a symbol of how God’s light shines through each of us.  As we look closely at the passage from the Gospel of John this morning, I want to offer these to you as a metaphor for God’s work in us as we consider what it means to be pruned, and where exactly the Good News is in the revelation that we should expect spiritual amputations. Continue reading

Illness & Healing

We live in an accomplishment-oriented society.  Our identities are wrapped up in what we do in our jobs, what we can produce, how we “contribute to society.”  There’s a lot of ego wrapped up this lifestyle–one that tells us that we know who we are because of what we do.  Depending upon and feeding our egos, allowing our lives to be ruled by how many people like us, or how much money we make creates an environment of anxiety and fear.

This is an illness.  This is not how we’re meant to live.

We learn in Scripture that our identity is not based on our egos, our abilities, or our status.  Though we’ve been confused almost from the beginning of time, hiding ourselves, covering ourselves up with fig leaves when we sense God nearby, our confusion is not a permanent condition.

The truth is, God already knows everything about each one of us–as the prayer for purity at the beginning of an Episcopal church service affirms, “to You all hearts are open, all desires known, and from You no secrets are hid.”

“Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and curing every disease and every sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.’” Matthew 9:35-38

As God sees and knows us, he does not condemn us; he has compassion for our struggle and desires to lead us safely, like a shepherd, into healing.  God’s light, God’s presence, is healing–it is the only place we are fully seen, fully known, and fully accepted.

“though Jesus was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God
as something to be exploited,
but emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
being born in human likeness.” Philippians 2:6-7

Our worth is based in the reality of God; we are so precious that God seeks to dwell in each of our hearts, to be so close to each of us that we become like one being.

When we are healed from wondering and worrying about our own abilities and contributions to society into knowing that our worth comes from being God’s precious creation, from being fearfully and wonderfully made, we are truly free.

By losing our lives–refusing to be identified by our job title or bank account–we lose our egos, and we move into the light, into God’s presence without shame.