recent reading

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(1) “I think it’s crazy that we don’t talk more about what happens AFTER the big day. ”

I completely agree! More relationship wisdom

Our frenzy over weddings distracts us from the main event: the marriage (that is, the relationship to be cemented over the next several decades).  Just like we allow urgent things all the time (in our work, in our bodies, in our inboxes) to distract us from the important things (our immediate hunger sends us to Chick-Fil-A, while a salad or sandwich from home would be better long-term for both our waistlines & our pocketbooks), weddings can distract us from the long-term, good, & hard work of a firm foundation for a life-long marriage.  This culture is set up to tear people and relationships apart; even the firmest-ly-founded marriage will suffer earthquakes–the least we can do is prepare as much as possible.

 

(2) “…they’re like brothers here,” [Fr. Charles] Wallace said. “The boys look out for one another. They counsel one another and console each other.” This quotation about the St. Thomas choir school, captured in an interview with The Living Church this week reminded me of our own version at Trinity Cathedral in Columbia–shown above.

Like the article and the video show, these choir programs are about singing, but on a much more foundational level for both groups of students they’re about learning who God is and how to recognize God in a journey with companions–their fellow students.  This makes a family; they enjoy deep relationships forged from common work and shared struggle.

good reads

2015/01/img_0943.jpgfor better & worse, my facebook feed is my main source for online reading.  Here are my favorites from this morning:

Nine Things You Should Really Know About Anglicanism More often than I’d like, I lose track of what drew me to Anglicanism; this piece encourages and energizes as it convicts.  Anglicanism is Protestant, it is Evangelical, and it is Catholic.

A eulogy for Edward Herrmann, from blog Life Upon the Sacred Stage.  I found this through The Living Church, for which I wrote my own homage to theatrical storytelling–one of Mr. Herrmann’s long-running roles–in Raising Rory & Raising Ruth.

From Study Finds More Reasons to Get and Stay Married in the New York Times today, I learned “[m]aybe what is really important is friendship, and to never forget that in the push and pull of daily life.”

Practicing the Presence of Place, via the Covenant Blog, witnesses to the hope and transcending power of a church community.  It also reminded me that I’ve been meaning to read Wendell Berry’s Hannah Coulter (on which I’ve now duly placed a hold at my local library).

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What’ve you been reading lately?

Singleness & Marriage – Trinity Cathedral Young Adults

This subject matter deserves all kinds of reflection and discussion (which is why it’s taken me a week to even make a draft of this post…), but in the interest of trying to say something rather than nothing, here’s a little recap of our conversation at Trinity last week, some passages we considered, and a video to stir into the mix as well.

Thinking about singleness and marriage brought up discussion about divorce, loneliness, cultural perceptions and expectations about marriage, singleness, and divorce, and concerns about intimate relationships in the church community.

Our conversation about loneliness considered technology’s impact on our culture, especially our close, or intimate, relationships; this video supplements the discussion we had very well.

With respect to marriage and divorce, we talked about the sacramental commitment made during a wedding service, and how little this covenant is discussed and emphasized in our culture–perhaps taking marriage less seriously than we ought is part of the reason for our divorce rate (though, we noted quickly, the covenant takes two people, and sometimes one is much more commitment to the sacrament than the other, and also that because we are imperfect humans, we can and do hurt each other beyond the point of relational repair sometimes, which causes divorce too).  (a sermon from last year on the subject)

Finally, and perhaps most fruitfully, we talked about how counter-cultural the church is and ought to be with respect to community.  Our blood relations aren’t our be-all, end-all “tribe” if we are Christians; our brothers and sisters in baptism are our family.  They are just as important as any person who happens to share our genes–it’s a truth that tended to mean a lot to those of us at the event who either didn’t have much family left, or didn’t have family nearby.

In sum…

We wondered:

How does being a Christian affect your life as a single person or as a married person?

How is the church counter-cultural when it comes to community?

What are we made for, as humans?

We looked at:

Matthew 19, Mark 10

Genesis 2

1 Corinthians 7

(what do YOU think?)