a little gift

On Sunday, I got to bed too late and slept *horribly* (due to an over-abundance of cream and pasta and bread and butter… don’t you feel sorry for me?).  Monday morning, I was slated to preside at the 7 a.m. Eucharist.

I put on my coat and pulled out my key to lock the back door.  As the cold (38 degrees here this morning, yay!) hits me and the creeping light of dawn surrounds me on the back porch, it suddenly feels like I’m in Minnesota, about to hop in the truck with my dad to go to work with him, as I often do when I visit.  The familiarity brings on a wave of homesickness; not that Minnesota has always felt like home, but that familiar, comforting experiences are fewer and farther between in this new, but dear, place.  To pull the blanket of homely-comfort around me tighter, I tune my iheartradio app to Cities 97–one of the two stations my dad and I always listen to on the way to work, the other being WCCO 1370 AM (I could sometimes pick it up in Ohio on quiet nights, I wonder if it comes in here…).  I stop at Starbucks to ply myself with caffeine to prepare for the long day, and when I get back into the car to finish the six-minute drive to work, a song I’ve heard once or twice before comes on to the Cities 97 station.

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

(“Home” – Phillip Phillips (is that a real name??))

These words spoke to me as God’s message this cold morning back in the Midwest.  I’ve been struggling the last months, missing North Carolina, Durham, Duke–home.  This song tells me, “remember to hold on to God–He is your home, no matter where you go.”  “this may be an unfamiliar road/place, but God has promised never to leave you alone, even here.” “do not allow fear to overtake you.  do not be overcome by loneliness or exhaustion or hardness of heart.” “and, when you are overcome, you will not be overcome forever, you will be found, and re-placed.”

This was God’s gift to me this morning; I am so grateful for the mercy we are granted when we need it.

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