Thanksgiving Sermon

Earlier this week, trying to put my godson to bed, I asked what else he needed to go to sleep.  In an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar house, though his mom and dad were just down the hall, this very serious three-year-old was thoughtful.  “Well, first, I was very scared because it was dark, and then my mom left the door open, but I was very scared that Ben the dog would come in.  But then, I got brave.  Now, I’m not scared anymore, but I just can’t get to sleep.”  We snuggled, and we sang, and eventually, he fell asleep.

 

I had forgotten how vividly the dark, and big, shadowy animals could play on kids’ imaginations.  Thinking this week about fear, it struck me that my big dog, Ben, has the exact opposite effect on Philip and me.  Ben strikes fear in Philip’s heart—for no particular reason than that he’s twice the size and weight of a three-year-old—and for me, on nights when I’m alone at home, I count on my dog’s ears and sharp bark to avoid the exact same feeling of fear.  Philip worries about Ben and worries about the dark, while Ben provides comfort for me, and dark winter nights have a calming, soporific effect on me.

 

But Philip doesn’t know Ben the way I do, and he hasn’t experienced nighttime as much as I have; he hasn’t yet come to know that the setting of the sun can be a welcome blanket of rest.  What is it that we don’t know the way God does, and haven’t experienced as much or as fully as God has?

 

God, in Jesus Christ his Son, tells us, “do not worry about your life.”  Just like Philip with the dark and with Ben, we think to ourselves, “well, thanks, God, that’s a lot easier said than done!”

 

How can I persuade a child who doesn’t know how gentle and sincere my big monster of a dog is unless he experiences the dog enough himself to trust that the big teeth and strong tail are just window dressing on a loving, licking machine?

How do children learn to trust their parents’ word, that it’s safe to go to sleep because there aren’t monsters lurking in the dark or under the bed?

 

Despite these things that Philip and children do not understand and are still working to learn, there is a way that Philip is right on the money—though his imagination gets the best of him when those shadowy, dark animals creep around the corners of his mind, he at least recognizes that there’s a lot more to life than what he can see when the lights are on.

 

As we grow up, our fears shift, and often, we come to think that there isn’t much more to life than what we can see.  We start worrying about paychecks and tuition bills, we worry about the health of our children and our parents and ourselves, we are concerned about what could happen if  dot-dot-dot.  We continue to be afraid of those things we can’t see—layoffs and price hikes and illness—but we forget that God is part of what we can’t see, too.

 

Trust and rest lie in the fact that God is more powerful than money or disease.  In the prequel to today’s Gospel passage, Jesus says, “No one can serve two masters.  You cannot serve God and wealth.  THEREFORE, do not worry about your life.”  Money and vitamins and health insurance cannot tell us truthfully that we need not worry.  Only God can tell us that.

 

Like Philip, our struggle is to trust that our heavenly Father is telling the truth, that there is no monster under our bed, or in a doctor’s file, or on a bill-collector’s desk, (no monster) that can overtake us.  We need not worry, because our parent is the most powerful force in the world, who promises through his son, Jesus, that he will be next to us whenever uncontrollable situations enter our lives.

 

There’s more to life than what meets the eye, and I’m thankful that that’s Jesus.

 

Amen.

 

the blessings of brothers (and sisters)

On Wednesday, I told the story of Jacob/Israel during my school’s chapel service (I am the chaplain of the St. Michael School of Clayton)–it was the first time I ever saw the first through sixth graders absolutely silent and absolutely still (now I thank God that I loved theater as a little girl and know how to tell a good story–I’ve got ’em!).

First, I said I was going to tell a story about a person whose character changed when he put “God in his thinking; God in his speaking” (this is a phrase from a prayer we pray to close chapel every day).  Two hands shot up–I didn’t realize they’d try to guess who!–the first said, “I’ll bet it’s Paul!”  I was so sorry to say that it wasn’t (but believe me, I’m bringing in my huge drop cloth next week to talk about Paul); the second hand said, “It’s Jacob, right?”  And we were off–I talked about how he’d fought his twin brother right out of the womb, how he deceived his brother and father and stole the special oldest-son blessing, how he ran away and was subject to an unfair master himself, and then realized the error of his ways and repented.  He was so sorry, I told them, and he’d been so changed by his experience, that God changed Jacob’s very name (i preached on this passage a year or two ago, text forthcoming).  God changed Jacob’s name to Israel, and Esau, his brother, forgave him when they met the next day (the chapel at the Church of St. Michael and St. George–where we hold chapel–has a stained glass window depicting Jacob’s dream and the name change).

I think I ended the story weakly–something like, “And so, when we have God in our thinking and in our speaking, we are kinder, and more honest, and more loving to each other.”  Learning, as I am, that ministry is mostly about asking questions to encourage people to think (duh–the most revelatory moments of my own journey have been the direct result of (Holy Spirit movement) gently-asked, probing questions), I wish I’d asked a question instead.  Following this train of thought, I wondered, “what’s the question I should have asked?”  “Who are we in the story?”  As Newton’s apple, the answer dropped into my head, “we’re Esau.”  I remembered the way that I’d opened my arms wide at the front of the chapel, showing the children what Esau did when he saw his long-lost, double-timing brother.  Some audibly gasped (what joy that these stories hold such power!  it’s been so long since I didn’t know the story that I’ve become inoculated to its shock value).  “Can you imagine being like Esau?  Can you imagine forgiving your brother or sister or friend for something like what Jacob did?”

Our culture does quite the job of telling us that we’re okay–we’re fantastic, even–just the way we are.  We don’t need forgiveness, we don’t need help, we don’t need to be told how to do things–we’re quite capable of pulling ourselves up by our own bootstraps.  Esau teaches us that the way we are–grudge-holding–is not okay, it is not the way that makes more of us.  Deceit, in the long run, makes less of us.  Holding onto the (bad) past makes less of us  (the old saying goes, it’s like drinking rat poison yourself and being sure that this will kill the other person).  Think of the story of Jacob & Esau next to the story of the Prodigal Son.  Have you heard, “the real question of the parable of the Prodigal Son is, ‘did the older son come into the banquet?'”?  We know that Esau did, we know that Esau’s story challenges us to do the same, and we wonder, as we, the older brother, stand on the edge of the threshold, whether we can let go of the words or actions (or lack of words or actions) that hold us back from opening our arms to our siblings (friends, spouse, parents…).

a little gift

On Sunday, I got to bed too late and slept *horribly* (due to an over-abundance of cream and pasta and bread and butter… don’t you feel sorry for me?).  Monday morning, I was slated to preside at the 7 a.m. Eucharist.

I put on my coat and pulled out my key to lock the back door.  As the cold (38 degrees here this morning, yay!) hits me and the creeping light of dawn surrounds me on the back porch, it suddenly feels like I’m in Minnesota, about to hop in the truck with my dad to go to work with him, as I often do when I visit.  The familiarity brings on a wave of homesickness; not that Minnesota has always felt like home, but that familiar, comforting experiences are fewer and farther between in this new, but dear, place.  To pull the blanket of homely-comfort around me tighter, I tune my iheartradio app to Cities 97–one of the two stations my dad and I always listen to on the way to work, the other being WCCO 1370 AM (I could sometimes pick it up in Ohio on quiet nights, I wonder if it comes in here…).  I stop at Starbucks to ply myself with caffeine to prepare for the long day, and when I get back into the car to finish the six-minute drive to work, a song I’ve heard once or twice before comes on to the Cities 97 station.

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

(“Home” – Phillip Phillips (is that a real name??))

These words spoke to me as God’s message this cold morning back in the Midwest.  I’ve been struggling the last months, missing North Carolina, Durham, Duke–home.  This song tells me, “remember to hold on to God–He is your home, no matter where you go.”  “this may be an unfamiliar road/place, but God has promised never to leave you alone, even here.” “do not allow fear to overtake you.  do not be overcome by loneliness or exhaustion or hardness of heart.” “and, when you are overcome, you will not be overcome forever, you will be found, and re-placed.”

This was God’s gift to me this morning; I am so grateful for the mercy we are granted when we need it.

brave people make intimidating congregations

Often, while sermon-writing, words come slowly, and when they come, they seem like little clods of dirt that break apart into dust the moment you try to grasp them. This exercise sends me running through my cycle of google reader-facebook-twitter.  Having just completed the circuit a few minutes before, there was nothing new on my reader, but when i typed in “fac” in my browser bar (the fewest letters necessary to bring up my worn “facebook.com” link) and arrived at the top of my newsfeed, a new photo had been posted by one of my oldest friends:

She wore a white sundress, her blonde hair was down, and the big white posterboard she held up read, “Shh… just go back to sleep.”  It was a photo taken for Project Unbreakable, a website dedicated to survivors of sexual assault.  I’d known about the event she referred to for a few months, but seeing her brave face meeting the camera’s eye humbled me–what good were my fancy sermonizing words to her?

I’d asked that question of myself before, thinking of a friend of mine who is a veteran of Afghanistan.  With all that he’s seen and survived, what can a sheltered, charmed, suburban Midwesterner say that has any weight?

Of course, the answer is that the Gospel is the most powerful thing we can describe to anyone, but the rub is describing it faithfully and articulately, both with our words and with our lives.  These friends of mine make me a better preacher, because I know that sitting in the pews each Sunday are others who have been abused, assaulted, witnessed and survived war, and continue to fight for their lives; keeping them in mind as I search for language keeps me honest and humble (and makes me pray more often).

reflection on ministry – prayer

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(photo credit)

Early on a Friday evening, I received a call from a parishioner, distraught about a developing situation in her family; it was not a circumstance in which the situation would change at all in the next few days, so we made an appointment to talk after church on Sunday.

As with many pastoral interactions, I saw how this meeting could be rife with heresy (that is to say, how easy it would be to slip into seemingly therapeutic and comforting speech–since this is what we’re shown on tv shows and what’s plastered to the walls of hair salons, coffeeshops, grandmas’ houses, etc–and to let wrong assumptions about God, propagated by banal cliches, run away with the interaction, leaving the parishioner with little to hold on to (other than that empty cliche) and even less understanding of God in light of his or her lived reality).  I fingered through my mental files of my favorite and wisest pastors (mostly Sam Wells, who himself carefully steered me away from sad, empty cliches at pivotal moments more than once!), and I gathered wisdom from J as we held the problem in our hands like play dough, forming it into one thing, and then into another, testing directions of conversation, trying to figure out the balance of truth and gentleness.

By Sunday morning, having mentioned it in my laundry list of prayers throughout the weekend, I refocused on performing my duties as deacon for the first time in my new church home.  When I met with the family after services, I spoke with them for a few minutes, but our talking (more like, my questioning and their shifting eyes and feet) wasn’t going much of anywhere, so I shifted myself and suggested we pray.  In that prayer, I saw all the wisdom I’d been gathering–adding to the play dough–come out.  It reminded me of what my mentor here said to me about preaching (though clearly it relates to prayer, too): People hear better when they over-hear (which is to say that if i tell you, in front of your hygiene-deficient sister, “You know, when you take a shower, you just look so much happier!” –it will probably lead the sister to shower a bit more).  In pouring out all the good and true things I’d been mulling the last few days, desperate to avoid slipping into platitudes, in the prayer, I enabled some over-hearing.  Affirming to God those truths He has given us, the family and I were able to overhear and accept the grace of God’s truth in a gentle way, a way that I hope allows us to continue chewing on the rough edges or dense bits of truth in the days and weeks to come.